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5 things to do
instead of spanking
- Choose your
battles.
Be calm, but firm. Figure out which issues are most important to
address
with your child. Try not to pay attention to small behaviors that
will
not harm them: whining, nail biting, tantrums.
-
Time
Out.
Use time out in response to misbehavior in children over the age of
two. Follow these guidelines:
- Use time out in
response to one
problem behavior. Overuse of time out is ineffective.
- Tell your child
what he or she
did wrong and what you would like to see the child do instead.
- Seat your child
in a quiet place.
Time out should last one minute for each year of age.
- Time out is a
chance for children
to calm down, collect themselves, and be ready to behave appropriately
when
they rejoin you.
- When...then.
When
you pick up the toys, then you can watch TV. When you clean your
room,
then you can go outside.
-
Take
away
privileges. Make the punishment fit the crime whenever
possible.
Take away TV privileges when children fight over the TV. Make
their
curfew earlier when they come in late. Try to take away
privileges
for only a short time. Kids easily forget whey they are being
punished
and build up resentment over long periods of time.
-
Work
detail. Re-direct energy that is being used to make
trouble. Have kids work off rules violations. Post a list
of additional chores that need to be done around the house and let
children chose which jobs they would like to do to make up for poor
behavior.
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