• What are the best ways for me to give my baby a healthy start?
• How will my baby be affected if I drink alcohol, smoke, or use drugs?
• I'm an expectant father.  What can I do to support my partner?  How can I feel more involved?
• I have a beautiful new baby.  Why do I feel so sad?
• Why won't my baby stop crying?
• How can I help my older child get ready for the new baby?
• What can I do to protect my baby from crib death?
• How do I cope with the stress and pressure of parenthood?

Having a baby can be an exciting time in your life, and you and your partner will experience many changes, both physically and emotionally.  Learning, reading and talking about pregnancy, childbirth, and babies can help make these transitions a little easier.  Taking positive steps to reduce the stress in your life during and after your pregnancy can make a real difference in your health and the health of your baby.

The volunteers and staff at Family Resources WARMLINE believe that all babies deserve the finest beginnings in life, and all parents deserve information and support.  Taking good care of yourself is the best way to insure a healthy baby, and asking questions is the best way for you to feel confident in your new role.   Talk to your health care provider early and often in your pregnancy about any concerns you may have.  Share your feelings and expectations with your partner, and ask for the support you'll need to make healthy choices for you and your baby.

Call the WARMLINE at 412-641-4546 or 1-877-WARMLYN (outside Allegheny County, dial 1-800-641-4546).  Our trained counselors are available to answer your parenting questions seven days a week.  For free, confidential, and caring support, information, or referrals, call Family Resources WARMLINE Monday-Friday 9 am - 9 pm, and Saturday and Sunday 1 pm - 5 pm.
 

What are the best ways for me to give my baby a healthy start?

It is never to early to begin preparing to give your baby a healthy start.  Even before you are pregnant, the choices you make about your own health can affect your future family.  During pregnancy make sure that you:

• See your doctor early and regularly.
• Eat a balanced diet or healthy foods.
• Don't smoke, drink alcohol or use drugs.
• Get plenty of rest and exercise.
• Protect yourself from sexually transmitted diseases.
• Check with your doctor before taking any over-the-counter medications.

During pregnancy, it is important to remember that your baby is sharing your body with you.  The things you do to treat yourself right treat your baby right, too.  But using drugs and alcohol, which are unhealthy for you, can be even more harmful to your unborn baby.

If you smoke while you are pregnant:

• You may be increasing the risk of miscarriage.
• You will be more likely to have a low birth weight baby who may need to spend time in the hospital after birth.
• Your baby could be born too early.
• Your baby could have breathing, learning, or behavioral problems later in life.
• Your baby will be more at risk from sudden infant death syndrome (called SIDS, or crib death)

• Your baby may be born with fetal alcohol syndrome, which contributes to many birth defects.
• You will have a greater risk of having a miscarriage or a stillborn baby.
• Your child could have many learning problems later in life.
• Your baby may be born too early or too small.
• You are risking harm to the baby's developing brain and heart.

• Your baby could be born addicted.
• Your baby could die.
• Your baby may be born too soon.
• Your baby could have trouble breathing.
• Your baby could have brain damage, or may have learning problems for the rest of his life.
• You will not be as healthy as you should be in order to give birth to a healthy baby.

I'm an expectant father.  What can I do to support my partner?  How can I feel more involved?

Finding out that you are going to be a father can make you feel many different ways.  You may be concerned about how your life and your relationship with your partner will change.  You might worry about money or wonder what your role will be during childbirth.  All the feelings you are having are normal, and sharing them with your partner can build healthy communication between the two most important people in your baby's life.

You can support your partner and feel more involved during her pregnancy by:

• Going with her to her prenatal appointments and asking questions.
• Practicing a healthy life-style with her.  Encourage her to eat healthy, rest, and exercise -- and you do the same.
• Staying away from drugs and alcohol -- together!
• Talking together about your feelings, hopes, and fears.
• Learning about pregnancy, childbirth, and babies.  Attend birthing classes with mom.
• Staying active and involved in every part of your child's life -- forever!

I have a beautiful new baby.  Why do I feel so sad?

Most new moms expect to feel happiness after their baby is born, so feelings of sadness or anger can come as a surprise.  Many women have these feelings and wonder why it is happening and what it means.  The responsibility of taking care of a new baby can be scary, and this little person may seem like a stranger as you start out as a parent.  These feelings are normal, and it may take some time to adjust to the many different feelings you are having.  Often, getting to know your baby and what she likes and needs can make you feel more confident, relaxed and happy.

A majority of new moms notice that they have "the blues" a few days after delivery.  Feelings of sadness or anger, or questions about whether or not you can really take care of your baby, may occur.  This is a common experience and usually goes away as fast as it comes, generally within a few days.  Asking for help, support or a break to take a shower, catch a nap, or have a meal can sometimes ease "the blues."

If your feelings of sadness are strong or don't go away, or you seem to be having "good" days and "bad" days for more than a week or two, talk to your doctor.  This is not unusual for new mothers either, and your health care provider may be able to help you feel better.

Why won't my baby stop crying?

All babies cry.  And all parents wonder why and what to do about it.  It is important to know that your baby cries for lots of reasons -- it is the only way he has to communicate how he feels and what he needs.  Is he hungry?  Wet?  Tired?  Bored?  Teething?  Lonely?  You may need to try many things to get to the bottom of the problem.

If you have checked everything you can think of and the baby continues to cry, you may want to:

• Try rocking your baby or holding her in a different position.
• Sing or talk softly to him.
• Take her for a ride in the stroller or car.
• Offer a pacifier.
• Put him in an infant seat or baby swing.
• Give yourself a break.  Ask someone to care for the baby for a while, or make sure she is safe and go to another room.
• Talk to your pediatrician if your baby's cries don't stop and you are unable to comfort him.

How can I help my older child get ready for the new baby?

Many expectant parents worry about how their older child will handle the arrival of a new sibling.  Some tips for making this easier for everyone are:

• Prepare your child for the new arrival.  Allow him to get involved in planning for where the baby will sleep, clothes the baby will wear, etc.
• Read to your child about families with new babies.  Encourage her to ask questions and allow her to express her feelings and concerns.
• Celebrate the new role of "big" brother or sister.  Let your child know that he will be a part of this exciting change for your family.
• Teach your older child about keeping the new baby safe.  Establish rules and assign him "new baby jobs" (such as getting diapers, singing to the baby while you prepare a bottle, etc.)

What can I do to protect my baby from crib death?

Crib death, also called Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), is the unexplained, sudden death of a baby less than 1 year old, which usually occurs while they sleep.  Doctors really don't know the exact cause of SIDS, but have learned some things about what puts babies at a higher risk.

Some things you can do to help protect your baby from SIDS are:

• Get good prenatal care.
• Don't drink or smoke while you are pregnant.
• Make sure you put your baby to sleep on her back on a firm surface.
• Remove pillows and stuffed animals from your baby's crib, and do not place soft comforters or extra blankets under him as he sleeps.
• Breast feed your baby, if possible, for good health, which reduces the risk of SIDS.
• Don't overdress your baby or keep her room too warm as she sleeps.  If the temperature feels conformable for you, then it is right for your baby.
• Keep your baby healthy with regular visits to the pediatrician.
• Have a "smoke free" home.  Babies who are exposed to smoke get sicker more often and are more at risk for SIDS.

Becoming a parent can change your life in ways you may not have imagined.  Being responsible for another human being 24 hours a day can be an awesome task, and many of the "normal" behaviors babies and children have can make you feel frustrated, overwhelmed, or even angry.  Thinking about positive ways to deal with stress is a healthy step toward building a positive relationship between you and your child.

Some tips for helping to ease the pressures of parenting are:

• Talk to other parents about their feelings and suggestions for handling stress.
• Exercise to feel healthy and relieve pressure.
• Learn about parenting.  Take a parenting class, read parenting books and magazines to gather information that will help you develop a parenting style that is comfortable for you.
• Take time out for yourself.  As you nurture your children, remember to take care of your needs too.  A happy, healthy parent is a gift to any child.
• Call a friend.  Ask for help or a break when you are feeling overwhelmed or tired.
• Practice healthy habits that will keep you feeling your best.  Don't smoke.  Say no to drugs and alcohol.  Protect yourself from sexually transmitted diseases.  Your choices will affect your ability to parent and the health of your child.
• Call the WARMLINE at 412-641-4546 or 1-877-WARMLYN (outside Allegheny County, dial 1-800-641-4546) for more tips about dealing with stress in parenting.